About Ned Kelly
Inventions
Professional Experience
Professional Experience
I invented the Triple Hyphen, aka tryphen, to use whenever a super extra additional pause is needed between ideas or thoughts. For example:
"I really despise that guy - - - really despise him."
I couldn't get anyone important to get behind it, like a Kardashian, Keith Olberman or my parents. So, I dropped my pursuit to make it official in
I invented the Triple Hyphen, aka tryphen, to use whenever a super extra additional pause is needed between ideas or thoughts. For example:
"I really despise that guy - - - really despise him."
I couldn't get anyone important to get behind it, like a Kardashian, Keith Olberman or my parents. So, I dropped my pursuit to make it official in academia. If you happen to come across a tryphen in a publication or on a website, it's probably something created by me. Otherwise, some jerk is using it without my permission. Those jerks!
Professional Experience
Professional Experience
Professional Experience
All of my employment experience has been unprofessional, but I have a lot:
• Slip-and-fall safety tester for a roofing company
• Mobile human-target for angry Aussie mob tests
• Sign Language interpreter for local traffic issues
• Racecar driver on local roads and freeways
• Human testee at chemical blending company
• Verbal
All of my employment experience has been unprofessional, but I have a lot:
• Slip-and-fall safety tester for a roofing company
• Mobile human-target for angry Aussie mob tests
• Sign Language interpreter for local traffic issues
• Racecar driver on local roads and freeways
• Human testee at chemical blending company
• Verbal abuse testee at a school district office
• Voted Least Sexy Pool Boy at pool cleaner job
• Voted Oldest and Least Sexy Bell Boy at resort
• Human punching bag at city Parks & Rec office
Skills
Professional Experience
Skills
I do my own stunts such as getting hit in the face by a ball, tripping on flat surfaces, and running like I'm 70 years old (even though I'm only 69). I performed several one-man, no-audience plays while in the shower. I'm a keen observer with a sense of humor who helps people whenever I'm asked. Example: The other day I saw a woman in hee
I do my own stunts such as getting hit in the face by a ball, tripping on flat surfaces, and running like I'm 70 years old (even though I'm only 69). I performed several one-man, no-audience plays while in the shower. I'm a keen observer with a sense of humor who helps people whenever I'm asked. Example: The other day I saw a woman in heels walking awkwardly on uneven ground. I predicted she would fall. She did, which proves my observational skills. I laughed, which shows I see the humor in life's challenges. She asked if I'd give her a hand, so I clapped. I'm such a good guy.